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DESPATCHES FROM CAMERON'S BRITAIN

from Kill It With Fire by Existential Meltdown

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about

Cries for help. Cries for sanity. Come, come sweet armageddon (not the film).

lyrics

Woman on the bus just offered to swap her baby for another passenger's jacket. #CameronsBrtain

Just saw a fox sat on a car

Just accidentally listened to a Frank Turner song. So this is death

Hobbies including "blocking Tories on Twitter".

IF ONLY TONY BLAIR WOULD TELL US WHAT TO DO IN SYRIA.

Bored shitless of the default "working class experience" always being male.

"You know NOTHING about the ANCIENT ATHENIAN DEMOCRACY!
You are just a MISANDRIC FEMINISTIC ANTIGREEK ZIONISTSLAVE BRAINWASHED HIPPY!"

Happy St George's Day, I hate English people.

Even Instagram can't make my bedroom look nice.

Idiot on the train refused to move the bags he'd strategically put across three seats on a packed train. So I said "Don't worry, I'll move them for you!" And put them halfway down the carriage, upside down.

Posh Tory wankers too often taking advantage of oxygen, says Dawn Foster.

Sat on top deck of the 17, just saw a bloke I once slept with fall off a Boris Bike. Best Valentine's Day ever.

Do you know why it is so cold? Because I just emailed someone unprompted to tell them I was sorry, and hell has frozen over.

In such a bad mood, when one of the Catford ne'er-do-wells hit me on his bike and said "I'll fuck you up, bitch", I screamed "YOU FUCKING TRY IT" and he slunk off terrified.

Census for those with the self respect not to own a "onesie". *Raises hand*

Flipside of dragging self to work while ill: threw up on the train. But I walked to First Class to do it. Class war never rests.

Me: "Do you want a tea towel to help you open the fizzy wine?" Steve X Cross: "No, Dawn. I have a private education"

Sexism against men is not a thing. Anti-white racism is not a thing. Heterophobia is not a thing. Shut the fuck up.

It was an Observer piece

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from Kill It With Fire, released September 12, 2013

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Existential Meltdown London, UK

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